Dietitian One on One

Well, my dietitian appointment went well today. She was happy to see that I've lost 12 lbs. since I saw her last. Looked through my food journal, checked out my vitamins, and said that everything looked good. I told her about my one big non-compliance with the diet, which is my fruit addiction. I do two servings of fruit per day instead of the one that they recommend, but she was kind of on the same page with me with that. The reason that I do it is that it's keeping me from eating chocolate, or other non-compliant items. And since, right now at least, I'm still showing weight loss, it's not too bad of a thing. She seemed surprised that I went cold turkey on all carbs, but as I said here before, with me it's an all or nothing deal. Again, I use the gateway drug analogy... a slice of bread today, a whole chocolate cake tomorrow.

She told me that the rest of my classes would be in the classroom, and to keep up the good work! I see the psychologist on Saturday, and since my labs are already done, after seeing the psychologist (unless he has other recommendations), the only other thing I'll have to do is finish my classes. I'm well on my way in my journey, that's for sure. It's going to be a long journey, but, 3 months have passed since my seminar. So, not as long as it really seems. How are your Mondays going?

~♥~
Lady D

Diet Compliant Chocolate Cake... :)

So, I found a recipe on my surgeon's Facebook page for a flourless, sugarless, chocolate cake that I was allowed to have. I decided to try and make it, and honestly, it's not that bad. So, here are the pictures.

This is the cake in batter form. I don't own a food processor, so I used my stand mixer on speed 10 to get an ok consistency. It's kind of like the cake has coconut in it... (Since the cake is made mainly from black beans, it's the shells of the beans that give it that consistency) It's also not super sweet. I used Splenda, and followed the recipe. I think next time I'm going to double the amount of Splenda that I used to see if that makes it at all sweeter.

All in all, the cake is NOT bad. And it totally satisfies my chocolate craving, which right now was getting bad. :/ I am looking up more bariatric-friendly recipes on Pinterest today, so, wait for more recipes. :)

I see the dietitian tomorrow for my one on one. I'm excited to meet with her to see how she thinks I'm doing. I just have to remember to bring my vitamins with me. I think I'm going to take pictures of my vitamins tonight in case I forget to grab them in the morning. :)

~♥~
Lady D

Stress and Hard Times

**Comments are turned off for this post due to the sensitive nature of the post**

So, life is hard. I know! What a shock, right?!

Something I haven't talked about a lot yet is the hard times. I was going back through my blog, and as I was reading it, I was like... wow, I sound like I'm really handling this well. And honestly, the diet part of this process, I am indeed handling well. But the psychological side is tough sometimes. I get inside my head a lot, and I just don't want to talk to anyone or see anyone. Mainly, when I do this, I'm thinking about... what if this doesn't work? What if I go through all this, and it just... doesn't work for me? I mean, the logical part of my brain of course tells me that it already IS working, since I've lost almost 30 lbs. so far. I also know that post-op, I will indeed lose a lot of weight. A LOT of weight. So, yes, logically I know it will work. But there's a part of me that's scared that it won't. Not that I'll go back to my old eating habits or anything like that, just that, I'll do all of this, and I won't lose the weight.

Another part is, I'm a little afraid of losing so much weight. I know that inside I'll be the same, but, what if I don't like the new me? I was actually getting to a point in my life where I was ok with the way I looked. I was ok with my body shape and type. And then, since my health was going downhill, I had to make this change. So, as I said, what if I don't like the new me? Don't worry, I'm not going to change my mind about going through this for that reason. It's just something my mind turns to.

Now, I'm not like this all the time, or even a majority of the time. But, I do get this way. And it's tough. It's really tough. Honestly, what I usually do when I get like this is go take a "melt your face off" (my husband's term) shower, and just get back into a good headspace. Or, I have him hold me, or, we take a walk, or play a video game, or, I play with my daughter. I do something to get my mind on other things. This process is definitely a life altering process. And it's something they don't want you going into lightly. That's why they have you take a MINIMUM of 3 classes with the dietitian, and they have you meet with a psychologist. My program also has a clinical social worker on staff to help if you need it as well. They literally want you to succeed.

It's good as well, knowing that I have such an awesome tight-knit support group in my family and friends. I have so many people that want to see me succeed with this... it helps. A lot. I love you all for it. *e-hug*

So, just remember, please, if this is a journey that you are on, or considering, that as upbeat as I sometimes seem on here, it's not all sunshine and rainbows for me either. This is the fight of my life. It is literally the hardest thing I've done to date... But it's going to be totally worth it in the end. And if this IS something that you're on or considering, and something you too are dealing with, comment on a different post, or PM me on facebook, or Text me, or smoke signal me. ;) I'd be a sympathetic ear, or a shoulder to cry on if you need it. You're not alone.

~♥~
Lady D

Surgeon Consult

Well, the surgeon's consult was a very short visit, indeed about 15-20 mins. The only bad part was that my surgeon was running a bit late. When I got to the office, there were 4 people in the waiting room ahead of me, and I got there at about 1:10 (my appointment was for 1:30). It really didn't take them long to get me back. When they took me back, they had me step on an uber scale, that not only measured weight, but BMI, Fat %, and several other measurements. They also took a waist measurement.

After that, I got to the exam room, and they asked me all of my medications, if I had any reactions to anesthesia (my epidural made me itch like crazy!), and some family history questions. Then she (the MA) took my vitals and left. And then I waited. And waited. And waited. I debated on asking what was taking so long, but I didn't want to be THAT patient. Finally, at 2:30, I decided to make sure I hadn't been forgotten. I was in luck, and the MA that took me back was in the hallway. She apologized and said the surgeon was running behind because of rounds, but that she'd be with me any minute. Literally, that second, my surgeon grabbed my folder from the holder on the wall, and walked in. LOL.

The meeting with the surgeon as I said was short. She took some notes from my chart, asked me what had brought me to make this decision, we talked about which surgery was better for me (she and I both agree on RNY [they prefer to call it gastric bypass I guess]), and she said she thinks I'll do great with it. She told me that surgery would only take an hour to an hour and a half, and then I would be in the hospital 1-2 nights depending on how I was feeling. As I said, a quick visit, but a productive one. I don't know when I see her next, but there's no point in me really seeing her again until right before surgery, so, probably not until surgery is scheduled (after my classes are done in September, and all my tests are done, and insurance has officially approved). Anyways, on to a new day today. :)

~♥~
Lady D

Pictures and Surgeon Consult

So, on Facebook, I've started posting update photos. I'm not sure how often to post them... I posted our trip to the zoo, where I was 23 lbs. down (I put 20, for ease of numbers), but now I'm 28 lbs. down. Should I post every 10 lbs.? 20? I'm just not sure how often. Oh well, I'm sure I'll figure it out. So, if you're a pictures person, I have an album on my Facebook page titled "My Weight Loss Journey" with update pictures. Feel free to take a look. :)

I'm very excited and a little nervous about today. Today is my initial surgeon's consult. I'm not sure what to expect, but it's apparently a super short appointment... online it says it's scheduled as a 15 minute appointment, which is why I didn't ask my husband to take off work to come to it with me. It's at 1:30 today. Depending on if it's really a 15 minute appointment, or how long it takes, I'll be coming back to work. If it takes too long, I'll just call it a day. We'll see. I weighed myself this morning with my new scale (which works great, by the way...), and I'm interested to see how it compares with the doctor's scale. We'll see. Anyways, that's about all I've got right now. :)

~♥~
Lady D

Another success! :)

Put another notch into the success column. I went to put on a pair of jean shorts today, and the pair I grabbed were a size 22. I knew I had dropped a size into 24, but I was like, what the hell? We'll give it a shot. So, I tried them on. Guess what? They fit. They were a little snug, but not uncomfortably so. So, I can officially say I've dropped two pants sizes. I'm at least down one size in tops too. :) And 23 lbs down overall. Go me.

~♥~
Lady D

Protein Shakes

Welcome to June! Where has this year gone? O.O

Well then... my first experience with protein shakes is meh. I bought some Quest protein powder that I made a shake of this morning. It tastes.... okay, but, the consistency is strange. I'm sure it will get better when I get my blender bottle. I spaced that I was going to need a blender bottle when I bought my powder. I'm having a vanilla shake this morning, and, heh, as you can see below, it doesn't look too appetizing.

What do I mean by it only tastes ok? Well, I've never had whey protein shakes before, and there's a... flavor that I can't describe to it. It's not horrible, and honestly, after the first 5-10 sips, I'm already getting used to it. But it's definitely something to get used to... I'm not a fan of the smell though. Someone on my support group Facebook page said that she puts a lid on hers and drinks it through a straw. The lid thing is helping for sure. :) I made vanilla this morning, and I brought chocolate for lunch, so, we'll see if the chocolate is any better.

As I said, the consistency is my big thing... I was expecting something along the lines of a Slim Fast shake, but, no, this is THICK. It's closer to drinking an actual milkshake, and honestly, all I did was mix the powder and water. They do recommend mixing it in a blender for the best consistency, which is why I'm hoping my blender bottle will be a bit better...

I did order some Quest protein bars yesterday! I'm excited, because from what I'm reading, all their bars taste AMAZING. And they have such awesome flavors: Chocolate Fudge Brownie, Chocolate Chip, Double Chocolate Chunk, Strawberry Cheesecake, S'Mores, Cinnamon Roll, Blueberry Muffin, Mocha Chip, Mint Chocolate Chip, PB&J, PB Chocolate, White Chocolate Raspberry, Rocky Road, and tons and tons more. I personally ordered the Cinnamon Roll bars to start, since I made Cinnamon Rolls for a co-worker's birthday yesterday. :) I'm excited to try them.

Do any of you eat protein bars/drink protein shakes? What are your favorite brands?

***UPDATE*** So, I brought one serving of each chocolate and vanilla to work today. And the more I drank the vanilla, the more I realized just no. LOL. But the chocolate, which I had for lunch, was really good! Again, it didn't mix well, since I didn't have it in a blender bottle, but, it tastes good. So, chocolate is in, vanilla is out. :)

~♥~
Lady D