Well, hello. :)

Sorry I haven't posted in a few days. I've been dealing with this annoying allergy/sinus infection thing, and haven't really had anything to post about. So, I guess I'll update a few things here and now.

I'm getting really excited. My surgery consult is a week from today. What does that mean? That means that I get to meet with the surgeon, and see what all my options are, and what she thinks is best for me. Now, this is not where I get my surgery date. I won't get that until I'm done with my SWLCs, which won't be until October. But, this is one step closer, for sure.

This month, I also have my 1:1 with the dietitian, and I'm interested to see what she thinks of my progress (twenty-two pounds lost so far), and to see if she has recommendations, and so on. I also have my psychological exam this month. My pre-op labs came back good... no H. Pylori, my Vitamin D was good. So, that's pretty much it with that part.

So, a little over a month ago, I bought a scale from a company called Greater Goods via Amazon. When I got it home, it didn't work, it weighed 14 lbs just from sitting it on the floor. I wasn't happy with it, so, I returned it, and gave it a bad review on Amazon. Well, the company found this blog through my Amazon account, and they were floored over my journey. One of their reps said that they totally wanted to support my life style change and weight loss journey, and so they offered me a free scale (an upgrade of the one I had previously purchased), as well as a $100 Amazon gift card to use as I saw fit. I couldn't believe it. I thought it was a scam at first. But no! They literally just wanted to help me out. So, my free scale is on it's way to me, and the gift card went towards protein powder, and a weights set for helping with my exercise. Thank you Greater Goods. You guys rock! :)

So, speaking of exercise, I got a crap ton of it yesterday. We took my daughter to the zoo (Can I just say that zoos need healthier food? I ate a burger, no bun, so, I stayed on diet there, but for a side, I bought a fruit cup to share, and it was grapes and strawberries [grapes are not legal], so, I went off plan there... I guess it's just good that I didn't order fries or something), and basically, we walked for 3 hours straight. I wish I had remembered to put on my FitBit... I'd love to have seen how many steps I had taken. :)

So, do you have a FitBit HR? I bought a secondhand FitBit Charge HR last winter, and I love mine. But I was always curious how accurate the heart rate is... apparently it's very accurate. I compared my heart rate to my heart rate on an O2 sensor at the doc's office, and it was spot on. Good to know! So, did anyone else do anything fun and healthy this weekend?

~♥~
Lady D

Sickness and Weight

Well, I've had a nasty sinus infection since last Tuesday. I'm slowly getting better now, but, when I was sick, I didn't want to eat hardly anything. So, I didn't. I lost like, 5 pounds in two days, but I've slowed back down again now. The bad part is, once I was starting to feel better this weekend, I wanted to eat everything in sight. *sigh* I didn't, much as I wanted to. I did however eat the right foods, just in slightly higher portions since my body was so starved. But, I didn't gain anything back, since I was still choosing the right foods. What do I mean, you ask? Well, for example, the past few days, I've eaten a cup of fruit, instead of 1/2 c. Or, I have a 7 oz. portion of lean protein at supper, but stuck to the rest of the amounts across the day. So, was I following the plan? Technically no. But, I at least was making smart choices in my not following the plan. Good news? I've lost 20 lbs. since my first SWLC. I'm down to 341.2 today. :)

I had to call the lab today where I had my pre-op tests done, because my doctor STILL hasn't received them! What did the lady at the clinic have to say? "Oh, I don't know why your doctor wouldn't have received those..." *rolls eyes* Great. Thanks. She supposedly faxed them when I called. I asked the doctor's office to call me back if they didn't get them in an hour or so. I might call back before the end of the day just in case.

So, how's your week going?

~♥~
Lady D

Affirmation!

If I ever needed affirmation that everything I'm doing so far is right, I got it at last night's SWLC. The class itself was a short one... only 45 minutes. We talked about a few different meal planning websites, a couple of helpful books, and a website that has great information on local trails. Once I look into each a bit more, I'll post links. :) The biggest thing we talked about however, was the changes that are coming to food labels. If you click on that last sentence, it will take you to the FDA's website, where they talk about the changes that are coming to our standard food label. I think that all the changes are for the better, especially the part where they talk about the amount of added sugar in a food. So, there's that. We also did a little food Q&A; are certain things ok for us, what are suggestions to help us stay on plan, ect. And then we weighed in.

This is where the affirmation comes in. Weigh in for each person is private. Everyone stands in a line, but, there's about five feet between the person in line and the person on the scale. There's also a privacy screen set up to block the scale from the front of the room. No numbers are said out loud, and it's honestly just a part of the class for me. My dietitian is super encouraging with everyone, telling them what a good job they've done if they've lost weight, and motivating those that may feel disappointed that they didn't lose more. As I said, you don't know how the person in front of you is doing, and since we haven't talked about how much weight you should be losing, I don't know how I've been doing. So, when it was my turn to step on the scale, it read 349 (my scale at home has me at 346, but that's ok). The dietitian started to write it down, looked at last month's weight, and was like, "Woah, woah, woah. Step back up on that scale." I half-laughed, and said, "It's for real, I promise." Sure enough, I stepped back up for the same weight. She was astounded. She said that was amazing. I asked her how much we're supposed to be losing, and she said what I was losing is fine, as long as I'm feeling satisfied at meals (which I said I was), and as long as I'm not fatigued. Well, I am fatigued, which is new, but it's getting better. She asked if I was getting all my fluids (I'm trying, but I'm doing better than I used to). She seemed happy. :) I'm happy. :) I see her again in a month, this time for my 1:1 SWLC. Well, I'm just going to keep doing what I've been doing in the meantime.

EDIT 5/18/17

So, I was at home sick yesterday, and when I went to pick up my daughter from the sitter, I had to get dressed (I was in my pj's, and totally wanted to stay that way... but, I digress), and so I put on a pair of shorts that, to be completely honest, I've never been able to wear. They were given to me. They're a size 24... I've been in a size 26. They fit me perfectly. So, guess who has dropped a pants size? :)

~♥~
Lady D

Tough times...

Yesterday was a tough day, I'm not going to lie. I haven't been sleeping well lately (no reason in particular, just been staying up later, and I'm still getting up at the same time), and I can't have caffeine. I've always had a saying: "You can go without sleep or without food, but not both." Before I was on the diet, when I had a day (or days) where I wouldn't get enough sleep, I'd drink Mountain Dew (I don't do coffee), and load up on carbs and protein that day. Now, since I'm on the diet, I can't have caffeine, and I can't have carbs. It leaves me feeling extremely tired. :(

Yesterday started out great! My daughter and I had breakfast together, and then I took her out on a nice long walk in her stroller... where we had a horrible meltdown in the middle of the walk, because she didn't want to get back in the stroller after playing in the park, and I had to cut my walk short. Then, after she calmed down, and my husband came home (he had to make an emergency work run), he took me out to Mexican for lunch, since we realized that I could eat a small portion of fajitas, as long as I didn't eat the shells, or most of the toppings (sour cream, small amounts of the guac, ect.). While we were at the restaurant, my daughter was extremely well behaved, and enjoyed eating out with mommy and daddy. And the restaurant gave me a beautiful red rose for Mother's Day. So, not a bad lunch. Grocery shopping went good as well. You're probably thinking, ok... meltdown, not great, but so far, good day!

Well, my daughter fell asleep for her nap as soon as we got home from the store. It was when she woke up that she started being a typical two year old and throwing tantrums... oh, but wait, my daughter is only 15 months. *sigh* So, now I'm hungry (I was really hungry yesterday for some reason), dealing with tantrums, craving bread (I bought my husband and daughter some blueberry bagels (since we discovered that she LOVES bagels), and it smelled amazing, and I wanted some so bad and... yeah. I was going to make some cinnamon vanilla cloud bread, but forgot to buy the cream of tartar. So, mommy had her own little meltdown after the baby went to bed... and by went to bed, I mean got put down in her crib and then screamed at mommy and daddy for 30 minutes until mommy went back in and let her run around a bit more. *sigh* Happy Mother's Day to me.

Yesterday, as you can see, was tough. And previously, I would have turned to food. But I can't do that anymore. I totally resisted the bagel, I didn't dig into my husband's snack cake stash, and honestly, I ended up just eating 1 c. SF (sugar free) vanilla Jell-O pudding. Why? It satisfied my need for sweet while still staying compliant.

Oh! I bought some chocolate Fairlife milk yesterday, since that is compliant with the plan even though it's 2% (yeah, I don't get it either). Not a fan. Honestly, it tastes like a Slimfast chocolate shake. So, I'm going to finish the jug I bought, and then stick to my 1% white milk with SF Hershey's syrup.

So, the point of this post is that if you're truly committed to this change, you will find your willpower. I never thought I had willpower when it came to food, but last night I proved that I do. :)

~♥~
Lady D

Holy Meal Prep Batman!

So, this week I was bad... I didn't plan out my meals at all. And it burned me today bad. I usually plan to grill out so that I can have leftover meat for breakfast and lunch for a few days (yes, I will eat a part of a chicken breast or pork chop for breakfast to make sure that I'm getting my protein in), but this week, we've hardly grilled out at all. So, for breakfast today, my manager was bringing in Panera for catering. Now, don't go getting all worried, I didn't go off plan at breakfast. I ate some string cheese, and a small apple. Since cheese is counted as a protein, I'm still totally on plan. And for lunch, I walked over to the hospital and got a grilled chicken breast with a slice of pepper jack cheese on top, and some steamed broccoli and cauliflower. Now, since I doubt that the pepper jack cheese was low-fat, that was a little off plan, but I was worried that the chicken breast would have no flavor/seasoning on it (which it turned out it did, so, I know no cheese for next time. :)), so, the single slice of cheese being off plan I think is ok.

Seriously though, if you decide to make this lifestyle change, you WILL be needing to do meal prep. Tonight for dinner, we're grilling boneless skinless chicken thighs, so, I'll have breakfasts and lunch this weekend. :) I did find a recipe for a type of bread I can try too, which is good, since I'm totally craving a hot ham and cheese sandwich. I blame one of my PA's, who had a sandwich yesterday that smelled exactly like a hot ham and cheese. :) As soon as I make the bread (I might be going to get the ingredients tonight, so, keep a sharp eye on the blog!), I'll post the recipe, and pictures. In case I don't post this weekend, have a good weekend everyone, and to all the moms out there, Happy Mother's Day!

~♥~
Lady D

Learned my lesson *eye roll*

So, our Associate Appreciation Lunch was today over at the hospital. I new what they were serving in advance, and knew that I wasn't going to be able to eat any of it, but I figured the main cafeteria would still be open... well, about that. Apparently, they shut down the whole cafeteria today to do this Associate Appreciation Lunch. I mean, had I not started my journey, I'd have been thrilled. They had shredded BBQ chicken, hot dogs, corn on the cob, watermelon, ice cream treats, soda, bottled water, all free! But alas, none of that can I have. So, what did I end up doing? I ordered Jimmy Johns. I ordered an unwich (lettuce wrap sandwich). I ordered the Pepe (ham, provolone, mayo, lettuce, tomato), with no mayo, add Jimmy Mustard (a spicy brown mustard), and of course, no bread. The nice thing? Someone in my office decided she wanted Jimmy Johns too. So, she and I split the deliery fee and the tip. :)

Moral of the story? Bring a lunch every day, just in case there's something you can't eat. *sigh* #BariatricProblems

~♥~
Lady D

Commitment

**DISCLAIMER** I am not looking for pity, or words of encouragement with this post. This is just how I'm feeling today, and wanted to share.

Today is a tough day. It's one of the days where my mind starts spinning. Is all this really worth it (yes, I know it is), can I really do this (yes, I know I can), SURGERY! Surgery can be really scary. Especially when you start talking about exactly what these surgeries entail. And while I've had surgeries before, and I work in a surgeon's office, surgery can still sneak up on you, and go BOO! While I'm still 100% committed to this, and I know that it's the best thing, I think I'm allowed to have a moment to go AHHH! to the boo.

Anesthesia is a risk, surgery is a risk (infection, ect.), and this will literally be life altering. Once you have these surgeries (some of them), you literally cannot turn back. If anyone who is reading this is considering either RNY or VSG, you really, really, really have to be committed to this. As I said, I am. I have to be. I need to have this surgery. I want to be there for my husband, and my little girl. I'm not willing to kill myself (not have the procedure and die young due to a complication of obesity) versus having a procedure that can save my life. That would be like someone saying, "No, I don't want you to treat me, even though I have a knife sticking in my back, and if I move wrong, it will kill me."

I've lost 19 lbs. since I started my new job, and most of that is due to my diet. My co-worker yesterday said to me: "See, you're losing so much that you won't have to have the surgery. My daughter lost 80 lbs. when she moved in with my husband and I." I did the math on that. Even if I lost 80 lbs., I'd still need the surgery. I'm VERY overweight. I can't do it alone. I have the willpower, yes, but, I can't do it by myself. I can't lose the weight I need to. And if you get to that point, that's where you need to decide if you're committed to this journey... or not....

I am.

~♥~
Lady D