I swear to you, if I hear the words, "The Easy Way Out," or any allusion thereof to what I'm going through being "The Easy Way Out," I might just punch someone. Seriously. And no, this post is not in any way directed at anyone in particular. It's just in response to a conversation I had with someone recently about this misconception. She knew several people who have gone through the process, and was therefore, aware that it is not the easy way out.
But I am so tired of seeing, and hearing people talk about what I'm going through as if it's nothing. As if I'm just effortlessly doing this. I promise you, in no way, shape, or form is this effortless. And it's only going to get harder. I know that I make it look easy. That I'm always upbeat, that I'm looking slimmer and slimmer, but honestly, this SUCKS. Imagine all your friends eating all your favorite foods: Pizza, Chinese food, Garlic Bread, Pasta, Mashed Potatoes, Baked Potatoes, French Fries, Fried Potatoes, Biscuits and Gravy, Chips and Salsa, Rice, Fast food in general, and you not being able to partake. Or, to go a sweeter way, brownies, cookies, cake, ice cream, hot fudge, chocolate. No. Nothing. Cooking dinner for your family? You're probably making two meals. One for them, and one for you. Or, your super sweet little girl who wants to share her snack with mommy, and mommy can't have it, and I have to say no. Seeing her face fall, because she wants to help take care of mommy, like mommy takes care of her? Please, please tell me how any of that is easy.
Or, let's get more personal. How about the fact that some days, I'm lucky to poop, or, the opposite, have massive GI issues. There's no middle ground. Do you have any idea how much pain comes with these things? Especially for someone with PCOS and has cysts on her ovaries? Taking masses of supplements for the rest of my life. Making sure I'm getting enough protein and water. I can go on and on.
The other thing that I'm tired of hearing is: "You're doing so well! Are you sure you want to have the surgery?" Guys. I know my body. My weight loss is already slowing down. I Have over 150# yet to lose. I can't do this on my own. I need this tool to help me reach my goal of getting healthy. No, finding "new ways" to eat right and exercise are NOT going to help! I've tried it all before. Do you really think that if I thought I had another way to go, that I'd be putting myself through this? Not only myself, but my family?
Yes, let's talk about family for a second. Because if you go through this, your family will suffer a bit too. My husband and I had several fights over this at first, and we still do occasionally. Why? Well, at first it had to do with whether or not this is something I really needed to do, and just figuring out everything. It's a big, scary thing, for everyone. Then, later, the fights happened over the stupidest shit. Why? Well, when you lose lots and lots of weight, your body will start getting rid of the hormones that are stored in your fat. But wait, your body stores hormones in your fat? Why yes, yes it does. And it will make you psychotic. Literally. If you're a woman, you will be a total WITCH for a while.
And all of this? This is just pre-op struggles. Let's get into some of what I'll be facing post-op. How about dumping syndrome? You know, the thing that I could get that could make my body feel like it's having a heart attack, and make me have to run to the bathroom to puke or have GI Issues if I eat sugar? No? Ok, how about the fact that they're going to use a tool to cut my stomach into two pieces, and reattach my intestines. Yes, they're literally going to rearrange my guts. Still no? How about the fact that for over a month, I'll only be allowed to have liquids. No solid food. No? Still too easy for you? Well, come see me then. We'll chat.
So, unless you've personally gone through this, if I hear the words "Taking the Easy Way Out" or ANY. I MEAN IT. ANY. Allusion to that, I will no longer speak to you. You will be out of my life. Permanently. I don't need that kind of negativity in my life or my journey. Questions? See me. HBIC.
~♥~
Lady D
