However, my butt is killing me today. Probably a TMI, but, let me explain. So, right after my surgery, we finally got a new mattress. We got a nice firm spring mattress. We had been sleeping on a memory foam, and it was breaking down BAD. So, somehow, last night, my body decided to sleep on my back... I'm not sure if I've mentioned this yet on here, but, I have no butt anymore. Like... it's gone. That was one of the first things to go. So, my poor tailbone is not used to dealing with all this pressure without the extra padding. So, me sleeping on my back last night means I woke up in pretty severe pain this morning. I have no idea what possessed me to sleep on my back last night... I'm usually a belly or side sleeper. O.O Oh well, that'll show me. LOL.
So... I sent a friend the picture I posted on here the other day of me in June, and me last Saturday. I knew that they had been trying to lose weight, and back when I was a size 22 or 20, and said that I'd be an 18 before long, they said that if I got to an 18, they'd have to get the surgery. So, I sent the pic of me in my size Large shirt, and my size 16 misses jeans. They didn't say anything back to me, but apparently said something to another friend of mine. Word is that they were literally in disbelief. Like, said that there's no way that I could be in a size large shirt, because that's what they wore, and that's just not possible, and that I couldn't be in a size 16 misses jeans, because that's what another friend of ours wears (she doesn't... she wears a size 11 American Eagle... whatever that means), and with me having been so big that there's just NO WAY that I'm that small now. The friend they were talking to asked why I would lie about something like that. They had no answer. So, the only thing I can think of is that they're jealous.
This makes me feel really weird. Like, I look at that pic from Saturday, and I honestly don't think that there's ANY WAY that I really look that small. That it's just a good angle. But, my husband took the pic, and he knows that he has to be brutally honest with me right now, and he said that no, I'm really that small. He said something to that effect last night again... that I don't realize just how small I'm getting.... I think we were talking about my ability to fit in some clothes that I hadn't worn in a while... he said he thought they'd be way too big on me... turns out he was right. LOL.
As I kind of mentioned in the previous post, I'm having a lot of body issues right now. Like, I see the number on the scale going down, and I can visually see sometimes, how small I am (last night I was laying in bed on my back, with my knees propped up, and I was astounded at how small my thighs looked), and other times, all I see is fat (like when I look at my belly and arms). Now, I know that some of the "fat" I'm seeing is actually loose skin, and that will be taken care of when I eventually have plastic surgery. Well... some of it. I'm only planning on having two procedures right now, one of which I'm hoping to get covered by insurance. :/
But yeah, this head stuff is no joke, guys. Losing the weight will not make you love your body. Having the surgery will not make you love your body. My husband helps me to love my body, in that he loves it, and tells me how beautiful I am, and such, and honestly, that is HUGE. But, I still don't always see it. :( I guess it will just take time.
So, I made something AWESOME last night. It's another Eggface recipe... Philly Cheesesteak Stirfry. For mine, I just used diced green pepper, diced red onion, diced cold cut roast beef, salt, pepper, garlic powder, chili powder, and because I don't like Worchestershire sauce, I used a little soy sauce instead. We topped it with sliced provolone cheese, and voila. My husband ate his as an open-faced sandwich, and I ate mine in my little bowl. I forgot to take a picture of it in the pan, when it was all nice and pretty, but here is my little 2.5 oz (I went a little bigger because the dietitians want me to have more veggies) portion.
Not too pretty to look at there, but super easy, and yummy. Seriously, if you're looking for recipes, and you haven't checked out The World According to Eggface blog, go check her out! She's awesome. :D Tonight, we're doing a "Pizza Casserole" which is not hers... it's one I found on Pinterest. I'm going to have to edit the recipe, but, we'll see how it turns out. If it's good, I'll share the recipe tomorrow. :D
~♥~
Lady D
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