**DISCLAIMER** I am not looking for pity, or words of encouragement with this post. This is just how I'm feeling today, and wanted to share.
Today is a tough day. It's one of the days where my mind starts spinning. Is all this really worth it (yes, I know it is), can I really do this (yes, I know I can), SURGERY! Surgery can be really scary. Especially when you start talking about exactly what these surgeries entail. And while I've had surgeries before, and I work in a surgeon's office, surgery can still sneak up on you, and go BOO! While I'm still 100% committed to this, and I know that it's the best thing, I think I'm allowed to have a moment to go AHHH! to the boo.
Anesthesia is a risk, surgery is a risk (infection, ect.), and this will literally be life altering. Once you have these surgeries (some of them), you literally cannot turn back. If anyone who is reading this is considering either RNY or VSG, you really, really, really have to be committed to this. As I said, I am. I have to be. I need to have this surgery. I want to be there for my husband, and my little girl. I'm not willing to kill myself (not have the procedure and die young due to a complication of obesity) versus having a procedure that can save my life. That would be like someone saying, "No, I don't want you to treat me, even though I have a knife sticking in my back, and if I move wrong, it will kill me."
I've lost 19 lbs. since I started my new job, and most of that is due to my diet. My co-worker yesterday said to me: "See, you're losing so much that you won't have to have the surgery. My daughter lost 80 lbs. when she moved in with my husband and I." I did the math on that. Even if I lost 80 lbs., I'd still need the surgery. I'm VERY overweight. I can't do it alone. I have the willpower, yes, but, I can't do it by myself. I can't lose the weight I need to. And if you get to that point, that's where you need to decide if you're committed to this journey... or not....
I am.
~♥~
Lady D
Glad to hear and see you're commitment to improving your health. Very natural to have some angst. Keep up the great work!!
ReplyDeleteproud of you. if you lose 80 pounds with diet and exercise why can't you do it on your own? this is a lifestyle change regardless of your method, and for that you should be very very proud of yourself.one that both your husband and daughter will truly benefit from.love you...one of your biggest cheerleaders.
ReplyDeleteBecause I have a hell of a lot more to lose than 80 lbs. And because I've done the diet and exercise thing alone before. Once I get to a certain spot, I can't lose anymore. I need the help, so, I sought the help.
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