So, I've been having some body image issues for several days in a row now. I have a LOT of excess skin in my belly, arm, and thighs. My breasts are also saggy now. But surgery, without insurance help is going to be around $20,000... which I can't afford. But, my husband and I have started talking about it, and we're going to slowly start saving up our $2,000/year Health Reimbursement Account to help pay for some of the surgeries. I'll just have to deal with my dysmorphia until then. And I honestly know that that's what a lot of this is... body dysmorphia. But there's not a whole lot I can do about it.
I posted this picture in my surgery group's facebook page since we were talking about skin. I am bending over in this pic, but this is what made me realize that my belly area is NOT fat! It's SKIN. If you're grossed out by this, a- you're on the WAY wrong page, and b- I DID warn you at the beginning of the post.
Cool thing about that pic? That's a real thigh gap. I was not standing with my legs spread farther apart than normal. Cool, eh?
So, I haven't really talked super openly about this next part, but I guess it's something that needs to be said as well. So, as I mentioned above, I have saggy boobs now. At my annual OB/GYN Appointment, my OB noticed that I have fibrocystic breast tissue... aka, I have lumpy breasts. This is a very common thing post weight-loss surgery, or major weight loss. Also, I have dense breast tissue, which can hide tumors. So, she wanted to send me for a "baseline mammogram." Something that she was sure would come out normal, but something that we could look at in the future and gauge my breasts. So, I went for the mammo. I could tell something came back funny, because when the tech did my left breast (the same breast my OB paused on), she started talking about me most likely getting called back for a second mammo, and not to worry, it's just that they don't have anything to compare it to, ect.
Well, sure enough, I get called back for a second mammogram. And they tell me how that process is going to go. They're going to take some pictures of my left breast because I have "asymmetrical breast tissue," and then show it to the radiologist. And if he decides he wants to see more, he'll send me for an ultrasound, and if they wanted more from that, or if they found something, they would do a biopsy. The tech was playing this off, because she thought it was going to be nothing. She even asked me: "You're 31, you have no family history of breast cancer, why did you even get the first mammo?" To which I explained. So, she took me in, did my couple of pictures, and then had me sit and wait in the dressing room while she showed the radiologist the pictures. It was a few minutes, and she came back saying he wanted me to have an ultrasound.
On to the ultrasound room we went. Well, again, she was saying she was going to look at the area, probably wouldn't even need to take some pictures, but if she did, she'd show them to the radiologist, and see what he said. Sure enough, a few moments of her looking, and she's taking pictures. She takes the pictures into the radiologist, and literally less than a minute later, he's in the room because he wants to look himself. And then they said what I DID NOT want to hear. They found an abnormal tumor that they are EXTREMELY concerned about, and they want to do a biopsy to make sure it's not cancer.
They did the biopsy about 10 minutes later, and a little less than a week later, I had the results. The way they were all acting, I really thought I had cancer. Well, I don't... maybe. I have what's called a "Granular Cell Tumor," which is a very rare (1 in 1000 tumors found are GCT's) type of usually benign tumor (only 1-2% of GCT's are cancerous). They recommended I go see a surgical breast oncologist to have it removed.
Fast forward two weeks. I'm meeting with one of the breast surgeons. To explain my tumor as he did: Since he's been practicing he's only seen 2-3 of these. When tumors are found, they're on a scale like this... cancer-somewhere in between-not cancer. Guess where I fall? Somewhere in between. He said he's not super concerned, since my biopsy results came back benign, but it's a 1cm tumor, and the biopsy only takes such a small area that it's just best to remove it.
So, next Wednesday, I'm undergoing out patient surgery to have the tumor removed. It's a two-part procedure, the first part, where they place the guide wire, I'll be awake for. The second part, where they actually remove the tumor, I'll be asleep for. I'm a little nervous about the first part, mainly because the biopsy hurt like a bitch... I didn't tell the doc to give me more lidocaine because I just thought it was supposed to hurt. After she took 5 samples, she figured it out though, and dosed me again. Smart lady. I didn't feel it the second time she was in there. My friend is driving me to the surgery center since my husband has to drop the midget off at daycare, but then he's hoping to be at the surgery center before I go back for the guide wire placement at 8am. Oh... best part? My sister's wedding is the day before, and I'm not planning on being home from that until around 1am. :D I figure I'm going to be sleeping all day anyways, so, who needs sleep the night before? LOL. The actual surgery is scheduled for 10am.
Doc said we'll know fore sure the results about a week after removal, but, again, none of us are really concerned at this point, which is why I'm talking about it. The whole point is that ladies, PLEASE do your self-breast exams. I know your breasts are changing, but, obviously, I, who was not paying attention to my breasts, could've had a much bigger issue on my hands. This journey allowed us to find this tumor, and hells yes, I'm going to be doing my monthly exams. Pick a day of the month (the TV station in Toledo, OH, where I'm originally from is channel 11. One of their anchors had breast cancer, and they always played a little piece by her on the 11th of the month to remind you to do a self breast exam) and do your exam every month. Guys, don't think you're exempt from this! While more rare for men, breast cancer CAN happen. Do it too! Ok, PSA over. I hope you all are having a wonderful week after our holiday weekend!! :)
~♥~
Lady D
No comments:
Post a Comment